I got to thinking about nursery rhymes the other day, you know, the way you do (or maybe you don't, but I do). They're all so old now, often written as cautionary tales about events of the time, for example, I believe that ring-a-ring-a-roses is about the great plague.
I thought it was time some of them were updated to caution against more modern phenomena such as divorce, drug addiction, etc. Cheery soul, aint I?

Covers

Page 1

Pages 2/3
"Peter, Peter, married cheater, always looks for something sweeter"

Pages 4/5
"Little Miss Muffet sat on a bus, her marriage had crumbled with minimum fuss"

Pages 6/7
"Georgy Porgy, pudding and pie, addicted to pills that made him high"

Pages 8/9
"Monday's child is tense of face, with nervous glance and can of mace"

Pages 10/11
"Jack Sprat got none of that, his wife was never keen"

Pages 12/13
"Lucy Locket, electric socket, farewell note stuffed in her pocket"

Pages 14/15
"Matilda told such dreadful lies, a friendless life became her prize".
Comments welcome, as always!